I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
