I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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