Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
