Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
