hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
