dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
