That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
