Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
