I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
