We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
