I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Who died my cat blue again?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
