yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
