good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
