I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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