i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
