guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
