***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
