i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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