ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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