Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
