You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
