and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
