It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
