i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
