whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
