what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
