Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
