You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
