is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So vagazzling was a success
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