Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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