My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
