I want to walk on stilts...naked
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
