Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
