I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
