Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
