my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
