Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You need Xanax blowdarts
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
