Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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