I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
