Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
zippers are such a cool invention
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
