We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
