from now on my penis is your penis
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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