Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
oh god was she eating orange peels again
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
