hotel room ftw
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
