my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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