if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
