grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
