she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
