I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
ugly people sure do ruin things
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Randomize
