Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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