We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
be right there i have to get my cape
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
