Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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